Maybe

Maybe in a few years, I can start following blogs of my generation of friends. I have a list of blogs from people I know that I visit pretty frequently, but not many of these are people that I talk to on a regular basis. We greet each other in the hallways when we see each other and that kind of thing.

I do follow my friend Lee's satirical blog and Breckyn's blog about discovering poetry. But other than that, I'm really much more concerned with looking at pictures of babies. As clichéd as the everyday life blogs are, I am starting to like them. I like reading about people having normal lives because I can see some kind of goal to reach for. Maybe someday I can be a full-fledged adult. I'm almost there, I think, but I just need to get my work ethic in line.

I want to take all these classes that have me do lots of reading, like at least 7 books per class in some cases. But the way I handle my weekends right now isn't going to cut it. Maybe I should stop going to bed late. Maybe I should ban myself from the computer all day. Maybe I should stop writing bad mind-dump blog posts.

I keep hoping that every step forward will get my habits there, too. Maybe having this job that actually challenges my skills will motivate me to improve other aspects of my life. Maybe I just have to genuinely want it. One of my coworkers told me that when she was about six years old, she decided that she wanted to type like grown-ups without looking at her fingers when she was typing. She now types over 100 words per minute. I can hear her clacking away all morning at work, and it's legitimately impressive.

Maybe not as impressive, but I typed most of this blog looking neither at my fingers NOR THE SCREEN. Just lying in bed with my head on the pillow, looking up periodically so that I don't embarrass myself with a bad misspelling.

It's late and I'm tired. I don't know what I'm talking about right now. Sleep!